“Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.” – Ron Swanson


“David Myers, the Jewish guy who works at City Hall, once told me a schlemiel is the guy who spills his soup at a fancy party. A schlimazel is the guy he spills it on.

Jerry is both the schlemiel and the schlimazel of our office.”

Ron Swanson on Jerry Gergich

I cheated the randomness of the music this morning.  I felt “Fire And Rain”, by James Taylor was fitting. I’m not really in a music mood, so I think I’ll put “Parks and Recreation” on as background noise. Can’t go wrong with “Ron Swanson” portrayed by Nick Offerman

Appropriate Line:

Oh, I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain
I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I’d see you again

I laughed a bit too much at the response @nick_offerman gave to this question. I could picture this happening in Season 7 of Parks and Recreation, Of course it would be masked with a “beep”. I can hear him saying it in my head.

Some of the responses were funny too. 

Late last night as I was laying in bed trying to stretch out my back I was flipping through twitter and saw that Jim O’Heir, who is mainly know as Jerry/Gerry/Gary from “Parks and Recreation” won a Daytime Emmy Award for a guest starring role. 

This morning when I picked the tablet up and again was trying to stretch, I saw that former castmate Nick Offerman had responded to his buddy’s post.  It’s neat seeing friends complimenting friends even in Hollywood. 

Either I’m watching too much Parks & Recreation at night as I fall asleep or not quite enough. I made my second Ron Swansonesque statement, this one concerning soup. 

“If a soup, no matter the kind is not chunky and meaty enough, it is quite simply just a  broth.”

Stray thoughts 3/22/2017: 

Might as well call this one a stray thought. It really was.

What you see above is an image from the show. “All in the Family”. I was tweaking a few posts, turning actual images I used into edited versions. One of the ones I changed was that of the post I made when Jean Stapleton passed away. 

That of course triggered the thought which lead to this post and I was picturing a modern day version of the show. I think modern day Archie would have a more comfortable chair, maybe one of those big bulky recliners. Then I was picturing a laptop/tablet on one arm, the other arm flipped open so that his beer was in the can holder, and of course Archie would be holding his phone texting Meathead to bring something home to eat or arguing with him about Donald Trump in some fashion, assuming Meathead didn’t win the 2016 election.

So then I started thinking who could play Archie Bunker? It would be like replacing J.R. Ewing(Larry Hagman), George Jefferson(Sherman Hensley), Fred Sanford(Redd Foxx) or say a more modern Tony Soprano(James Gandolfini), it would be all but impossible.  

Where would you even start looking for something like that unless you already had someone in mind. I didn’t, so I looked up Carrol O’Connor on wikipedia. He was born in 1924. “All in the Family”, started in 1971, so that put him at 47 years old. 2017-47 meant I would start looking at actors born in 1970. I guess one could call that a method to the madness. 

Google and IMDB.com are my friends. Matt Damon was first on the list, and while he’s a great actor, I would say no, can’t see it and is likely too big for TV. Melissa McCarthy was also on the list and after her recent SNL appearances I’d give her the call before Damon so I  I scrolled down and I simply stopped scrolling. 


I’m sure there are other talented actors that were also born in 1970 further down the list, but I can’t see a better option than Offerman.  They would have to fatten him up a bit and I’m sure he would love that. He’s got the cantankerous part down already from portraying Ron Swanson. 

Now if I were only in Hollywood and had the juice to pull it off. Since I’m not, I won’t waste any more time filling out the other characters. Oh how it would be so nice to get paid to have thoughts like this.