Stray Thoughts: 4/29/2017

It’s funny, how a simple little mention of something can
take you back to a funny story. This goes back to the early 90’s and eating
lunch with a friend at this little hole in the wall cafe not too far from where
I grew up.

The place was only open for breakfast and lunch and both were normally good.
Now my prices might not be 100% accurate, but then again it has been
twenty-five years or so(I’m not even certain if it’s still open, it didn’t have a page). From what I can remember a hot dog was $1.00, a chili dog
was .85 and a cheeseburger was about $1.50. Like I said, I could be off, but the
price doesn’t necessarily matter.

I ordered a double cheeseburger, fries and a Pepsi-Cola. My
friend ordered 2 chili dogs, fries and likely a Pepsi-Cola as well.   We were just sitting there shooting the shit
and waiting on our food.

The waitress(mid-50’s), brings the food over to us and asks if she can
get us anything else; I asked for ketchup and pepper. Evidently we were
early for lunch and they hadn’t got everything back out on the tables yet. She
brought it and was turning to walk back to the counter/kitchen and my friend
took a bite out of his chili dog and loses it. “What the fuck is
this?” he says a bit louder than normal. The 4-5 guys at the counter all
turn and look, and the waitress comes bouncing back to the table asking what’s
wrong. “This hot dog ain’t got no God Damn wiener.” She looks at him
dumbfounded and perturbed likely  at his use of foul language. “B bu but sir, you
ordered chili dogs”, she told him and his confused look continued.
“Yeah because I wanted chili on my hot dog”, he explained, still being a
bit louder than normal. I’m laughing and trying to hold it together. She
explains to him. “Chili dogs are just chili in the bun, a hot dog has the wiener,
if you want chili you just have to ask for it.” This has stumped him and
he asked, “why call it a dog without the wiener?”  All she could say was “that is how it is.” At this point I’m
waiting for Mel to call her a “Dingy”, or for another waitress to
throw out a “kiss my grits”.

She took his plate back and added two wieners to the bun and
brought it back. He ate it.  We went up
to pay and they charged him for the two chili dogs for any confusion, and he
looked over at the guys sitting there and one of them said “Ain’t that
some shit, I’ve never ordered a chili dog here and now I know not to”. He looked at him and said “I won’t do it again.”, everyone laughed.

We each left and went our own way but it’s a pretty funny
story to recall.  The moral to the story is don’t order something without knowing 100% what it is. 


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