Crash Davis: Relax, all right? Don’t try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they’re fascist. Throw some ground balls – it’s more democratic. [starts to walk away]

Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh: [to himself] What’s this guy know about pitching? If he’s so good how come he’s been in the minors for the last ten years? If he’s so good how come Annie wants me instead of him?

Crash Davis: [turns back] Oh, hey, and another thing, Meat. You don’t know shit, all right? If you wanna make it to the bigs, you’ll listen to me. Annie only wants you so she can boss you around, got it? So relax! Let’s have some fun out here! This game’s fun, OK? Fun goddamnit. And don’t hold the ball so hard, OK? It’s an egg. Hold it like an egg.

Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh:

[to himself again]: What’s he know about fun? I’m young. I know about fun. An old man. He don’t know nothin’ about fun.

Crash Davis:

[behind the plate again]: All right. Nobody’s goin’ out there. [Crash calls for a curve ball.]

Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh:

[to himself]: Why’s he calling for a curve ball? I want to bring heat. Shake him off. Throw what you want.

[Crash gives Nuke the sign for the pitch, Nuke shakes his head again. Crash walks to the mound.]

Crash Davis:

Why are you shaking me off?

Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh:

I want to bring the heater. Announce my presence with authority.

Crash Davis:

[indignantly] To announce what?

Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh:

My presence with authority.

Crash Davis:

[in disgust] To announce your presence with authority?! This guy’s a first ball fastball hitter, looking for the heat.

Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh:

So what? He ain’t seen my heat.

Crash Davis:

All right, Meat. Give him your heat. [He walks back to his place behind the plate.]

Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh:

Why’s he always calling me Meat? I’m the guy driving a Porsche.

Crash Davis:

[to the batter at the plate]: Fastball.
[Nuke throws it and the batter hits a home run, hitting the picture of the Durham Bull. The Bull roars and smoke comes from his mouth. The batter stands there, watching.]

Crash Davis:

What are you doing standing here? I gave you a gift. You stand here showing up my pitcher? Run, dummy.[The batter runs around the bases.]

Crash Davis:

Give me the ball. [He walks toward the mound.]

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s